Posts by the mole

22

my letter from ray franz

by the mole in

i recieved another letter from ray franz and it was in type but it didnt have the same personal feeling like the letters i had recieved before.

his health must be getting worse.

...brother franz had told me to keep strong and continue to do what was good to my children and dear friends as he survive his turmoil so i too i will survive.

i recieved another letter from ray franz and it was in type but it didnt have the same personal feeling like the letters i had recieved before. his health must be getting worse. ...brother franz had told me to keep strong and continue to do what was good to my children and dear friends as he survive his turmoil so i too I will survive. his letter couldnt be more timely. i told him several times of my plight and always before he had great advice and so too this letter cheered my soul to keep up the good fight. he advised as many of you did that someone will find me who wants to have the real love of giving not a shadow of love, but true and selfless acts of one wanting to give, not because they have too....i will post the letter verbatim on the silent lambs site later today. ..***the mole***

16

the elders may be gone but soon i will be alone

by the mole in

the word has spread to my family that i questioned my sister and the elders came to my home..several of my aunts had called already and my one uncle from georgtown ca....they being so very concerned on my spirtitual wellbeing have forgotten that i have questions on why the organization does what it does.

i finally confessed to my uncle sam that last year another m.s approached me and told me his crimes against a new sister's child while he watched them one night when she was at a get together with other brothers and sisters.

i cringed at what my uncle has said but to argue with him would have been a brick wall.

the mole

thank you all for what you said..but dont get the wrong impression. im not depressed or stressed out.. dating was not much of skill of mine so there is not much pain there. one day i will meet someone who experienced the same crap i did. there are no support groups in sacramento but what i really need is to be heard. i have seen so much and no one will listen in my family or want to think if what i say is true that is the pain i feel. two in my city have contacted me such as tinkerbell 82 but as i posted before and what angers me is the fear of what the org may do but in reality they have no power. my post at the silent lambs site has given my thoughts much wieght to many who may want to join such an ignorant group of people and as the bible said of the jews, "they where a stiff necked people."...***the mole***

16

the elders may be gone but soon i will be alone

by the mole in

the word has spread to my family that i questioned my sister and the elders came to my home..several of my aunts had called already and my one uncle from georgtown ca....they being so very concerned on my spirtitual wellbeing have forgotten that i have questions on why the organization does what it does.

i finally confessed to my uncle sam that last year another m.s approached me and told me his crimes against a new sister's child while he watched them one night when she was at a get together with other brothers and sisters.

i cringed at what my uncle has said but to argue with him would have been a brick wall.

the mole

the word has spread to my family that i questioned my sister and the elders came to my home..several of my aunts had called already and my one uncle from georgtown ca....they being so very concerned on my spirtitual wellbeing have forgotten that i have questions on why the organization does what it does. i finally confessed to my uncle sam that last year another m.s approached me and told me his crimes against a new sister's child while he watched them one night when she was at a get together with other brothers and sisters. i cringed at what my uncle has said but to argue with him would have been a brick wall. he wanted me to go to the meeting a pray. he said " wicked men enter our halls but we must not lose sight of the great promise because if we stop going to the meeting a wicked spirit will take me from the truth". ..i wonder if he really heard himself. since my birth i have seen some of the most bankrupt of people do things that are so distastful but it is always explained away and blamed on satan. i have no girlfriend, no wife to lean on and soon i wont even have my family through this troubling time. i found so many discrepencies but no one else in family can see them. are my eyes so wide open or are their eyes so closed they cant see the horror that is around them. the fantasy the satan is all at fault and the organization is the victim in every case is so insane. .....how can a 36 year old man start over when he knows nothing else in the world than the great lie called the truth. why would anyone date a man whose mind has been altered to fear and believe all what the organization has ever said?... worldy women have called me handsome but my thoughts always betray me when it come to holidays and other activies...soon i will be removed...i have never been weak physically and im very strong but can my mind withstand the coming neglect of being shunned...?...***the mole***

16

the elders left but tinkerbell stayed

by the mole in

***the mole*** a response from comments to my sister on abuse.

several elders showed up to my house last weekend and i had no clue that strong resentment was brewing.

only several weeks has past now and i find myself in a midst of a storm.

the mole

***the mole*** a response from comments to my sister on abuse. Several elders showed up to my house last weekend and I had no clue that strong resentment was brewing. only several weeks has past now and i find myself in a midst of a storm. i have written in this site for almost a year but none i have written is as harsh as the storm of near fanatical intensity, the elders reacting harsh viewed my comments as a conspiracy of serious proportions, one that threated the heart of my congregation and family. how great was my questions to my friend and sister? criminality and justification devoloped during thier sheparding call. they told me that those who raise such questions should be purged. i couldn't help but think of all the tom, dicks and harry's in the world why was my question so shocking. the brothers thought by giving me a few lashes with the whip i would get straight and go back to the regimentation of meetings every week. i will not deny that some brother in my hall did abuse a child because from his mouth he told me. it looks like now that i have been discovered i may be weeded out and df'd soon for telling people the dirty laundry in my hall. i can say this that what enables us to endure was not my faith in the jw's but on guts to stand up and say i was lied to...***the mole***

20

the elders came

by the mole in

my friend and my sister has betrayed me in my confidence to ask them on issues i have with the org.

i admitted that i dont think what the org is telling is all truth.

so the elders came and whipped me but i would not bow down to them, my freedom is at stake and i will not be a robot.

the mole

my friend and my sister has betrayed me in my confidence to ask them on issues i have with the org. i admitted that i dont think what the org is telling is all truth. so the elders came and whipped me but i would not bow down to them, my freedom is at stake and i will not be a robot. i can think and i have the real power of free expression, freedom to think and question. not on my knees but on my feet they will deal with me. my mind is clear and not clouded with fear for questioning the fundamentals on what they teach us.

10

why the fear after we leave the org?

by the mole in

so many people that i have contacted or emailed show the same fear as well as i do.

now that we have backed away from the wts many still want to hide.

i have contacted several people that are in fear to reveal themselves.

the mole

so many people that i have contacted or emailed show the same fear as well as i do. now that we have backed away from the wts many still want to hide. i have contacted several people that are in fear to reveal themselves. i think it is the training and the submission we once volunteered to subject ourselves too at one time. is the fear instilled to the new recruits also? i know that i have told many i want to keep my privacy. i still battle the thoughts that i have betrayed my god but my logical reasoning tells me that i have not betrayed god but freed my family and myself. being that im single and have two young teens i should have no worries, im fully independant with a good job and homeowner but why im afraid to speak out? knowing that my family will reject me is my fear...i cant even meet a young woman because i have been raised not to do holidays and dont know how. i have tried to find friends and dates with the same concerns but to no avail to find them is like pulling teeth and many think im strange because politics are alien to me and many customs once prohibited i dont understand..i was sheltered and brainwashed to believe all the wts says are the words of christ and god...who out there can explain to me and the others why the fear? where are the friends who can understand and help me leave the borgs? i say there are none out there....***the mole***

13

Are there any young folks who are sincere JWs?

by Spudinator in

i'm closer to middle-age so that is why the question is posed; so those that are younger or really know some younger jws very well can give an older codger some insight.. i hear a lot of grumbling among those of my generation that the new kids just don't seem to get it.

("it" being the "truth.

") is this really the case for the vast majority?

the mole

hi......i wanted to add that i also was born into the program. im 36 and during the days of the 70's when the so called time of the end was here i remember the elders coming over and telling my dad to quit his job. i remember the 80's when school was the issue and no one was allowed college. i graduated in 1995 with my AA and now have my BA. now looking back none of my friends during those years ever went back to the hall. so now i tell my kids to do what they need to do and not listen to what the elders preach. we sit in the hall and i can hear my kids chuckle when i ask why they both say the men giving the talks are not very educated they cant pronouce the words right. my daughter teen friends all have dropped out and are going to school and living their lives. but the kingdom ministry keeps telling everyone of the growth around the world but the time i went out in service i couldnt get one person in a month to talk with me...doom to the wts is near...

19

Memorable Field Service Moments

by Loris in

for the most part field service is a dull event-less drudgery.

but there are those rare times that something happens that makes it almost worth the effort.. while living in the state of washington i was privileged to meet a rare sister.

she was funny and a bit off the wall.

the mole

hi....i can remember some crazy days like that also. one in mind is some old man came at me with a shovel and tried to hit me and the elder i was with started throwing several copies of the "great teacher book" at him. it distracted the old man just long enough for me to run to the car...we left excited that we were both ok and we did have coffee and a donuts later instead of going door to door that day. when i got home i ran to my mom and bragged on my escape...the things we did then....the mole

8

how sad it is that knowone from my city wrote

by the mole in

there was only one person from sacramento who responded.

i am asking is there anyone out there from sacto who meets together and comfort each other from the abuse we lived through from the jw org.

wow, only one person.

the mole

how sad. only two responded and tinkerbell is the only one to keep in touch with me. i want to thank her for doing so and to another who emailed just now. thanks to both of you. ....i don't want personal info from anyone that is why im the mole. i need my secrecy for the reason a large portion of my family are witness' ,the ones that are not are disfellowshipped. .....so many people are frustrated and complain yet very few want to stand up and say i have been mistreated and my family disowned me for a mans religion..no one i have found has done anything. i am no better because i still hide, but the years of abuse and neglect so many have suffered and yet not a person to rise the occasion. this is why ray franz and bill bowens are so revered is that they took a stand while people like me coward in shadows and lurked in the mist.......sacramento is a hot bed but the wild fire is still yet to come...the mole

8

how sad it is that knowone from my city wrote

by the mole in

there was only one person from sacramento who responded.

i am asking is there anyone out there from sacto who meets together and comfort each other from the abuse we lived through from the jw org.

wow, only one person.

the mole

there was only one person from sacramento who responded. i am asking is there anyone out there from sacto who meets together and comfort each other from the abuse we lived through from the jw org. wow, only one person. second chance , respond to me. is there any from sacto who wants to talk and discuss issues? does anyone know someone is this area?